Zara's wager

There is this argument for justifying belief in God which is called 'Pascal's Wager'.  It goes like this:  If you believe in God and you are wrong, all you have lost is a lifetime of belief, but if you don't believe in God and you are wrong, you get an eternity in Hell for being an unbeliever.

This, as you might think, is flawed.  One reason it's flawed is that it's hard or even impossible to choose to believe.  You can't pretend to believe.  Another reason is that there are just so many gods - which do you believe in?

I have a modest proposal, a suggestion which I shall humbly call 'Zara's Wager'.  It goes like this:  If you believe in the wrong god, you are going to Hell.  If you don't believe and there is a god you are going to Hell.  So, it looks like you are going to Hell if there is a god.  Best make the best of it.  How?  Believe in Satan.  You might not be able to convince yourself that Satan exists, but the Devil is the Prince of Lies, and your hypocrisy will surely be appreciated.  You might believe in the wrong Devil, but again, I'm sure Satan will appreciate this, as unlike God, scripture doesn't say he is jealous.   So, do your best to get on good terms with the landlord of where you are going.  You don't have to do evil - a deathbed conversion will do the trick, a winning sign of laziness and inconsistency.

Beat that, Pascal!